Hot or Not Beauty

Take a look and then read:

Was it just me that was shocked by Britney’s opening act? Yes, indeed, I am writing about a celebrity, that’s how much it shocked me.

Usually these award ceremonies have pretty interesting opening acts (some pretty outstanding), but Britney’s wasn’t. She didn’t seem to be back in shape (note I didn’t say fat, I said out of shape) and her dancing was too slow and forced making it a completely non-natural way to move.

The clothes she was wearing were beyond awful, show some dignity girl, sexy doesn’t have to be skanky. Everything was wrong, that hideous top and shorts (they kind of looked like a glamorized version of grandma panties) plus with those boots…

But on to the makeup, Britney was wearing a sort of winged smoky eye in black with some neutral shades on her crease. Her foundation and blush or whatever she was wearing were oddly applied to say the least, she seemed dirty as opposed to polished. I also didn’t like her lipstick plus gloss, maybe the shock was so intense that I ended up not liking anything. And her hair seemed like it hadn’t been washed in 5 days and fallen victim to a bad bleach/dye job.

I was hoping for a great comeback, instead got a below average performance, a song that sounds like “I’m a slave for you” and what can’t possibly have seemed like a good idea in any personal stylist’s mind. This my dears, is a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge not when you want to look hot.

Back to the drawing board, I shiver at how that music video is going to look like.

We all look a little wretched in the morning. I mean, come on. You get up, you need coffe, need to brush your teeth, comb you hair and spiff up a bit. Some of us put on makeup before we hit the door because of work etc. As a makeup artist, I see women at their WORST! You know, the before and after thing. So, I was browsing some blogs the other day, and found these pictures that I just had to share. Several famous celebrity women without having their makeup artist guru work their magic on them. I’m sure you will be surprised. Check Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore, Halle Berry, Britney Spears and more.

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Not everyone should wear a mini. There should be a law that states you must have your legs shaved, they must be toned and shapely, must not be pastey white and no childhood scars. The body that accompanies the legs must be appropriate for the legs and must be in fierce condition. Well, this leaves me out. I should also say that women over a certain age, shouldn’t wear minis. Let’s just say some things may be legal, but they just aren’t right. I did a little perusing of celebs in ther mini attire, and saw some good, bad and some down right hot represented at various events of late.

We expect that supermodels can rock a mini. I mean that’s their job right? Check out Karolina Kurokova. This is a serious mini. Do her legs ever end? Then there is my girl Naomi. Naomi has the legs that I have always wanted. Long, lean, shapely and brown. Naomi Campbell is hot in the mini.

We also expect that Victoria’s Secret models can work a mini. Selita Ebanks, the new flame of Nick Cannon, dons a mini on many an occasion.

Of course we can’t forget the girls who dance and sing. All that booty shaking, and working it out surely makes for a nice set of video legs. And of course, the body to match. Rihanna is working this mini. (But I still think she has a huge head). Booty shaking can’t be mentioned without giving props to the woman who gives new life to the mini — B. K. No, not Burger King, Beyonce’ Knowles.

Even actresses of all sorts can work the mini. Jenna Jameson, Pamela Lee Anderson, and Cameron Diaz all sport a mini on occasion.

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Everyone probaby has their own translation of what equals HOT. These couples are hot because they look good. At least they think they look good. Someone thinks they look good. Hot because the paparazzi chases them. Hot because they get way too much press. Hot because they’re rich. Or at least they appear to be rich. Or maybe they really are hot.

Let me preface this list by saying that this numerical order means absolutely nothing! As a matter of fact this list probably means absolute nothing. But here we go.
1. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Their wedding was a bigger deal than the fairy tale wedding of Prince Charles and Diana. So I guess being rich and good looking and having a cute baby can catapult them into the HOT category. But, I’m trying to figure out why they’re really a HOT couple. When Tom was with Penelope they were simmering, but not HOT. And when Katie was with….Wait, who was she with?

2. Beyonce’ and Jay Z
She’s hot on several counts. She looks good. She can sing. She’s got a heavenly body. She’s rich. She’s in a box office hit. She’s on a slew of magazine covers this month. And Jay Z? Hmmm. I guess he’s hot because he’s rich. His money is all over the place. Basketball, clothing, music, vodka. I suppose he’ll be breeding race horses next. And of course, he’s got Beyonce’. As he said, “Got the hottest chick in the game wearing my chain.”

3. Britney and K Fed
Oh, they’re hot because they’re so trashy. Well, Britney’s rich and she shows her underwear or lack of underwear. Plus her outerwear is just hideous. She’s out partying with Paris Hilton raising eyebrows about their “relationship.” That’s hot gossip. Kevin’s a wannbe rich boy. The paparazzi LOVES these two. Probably loves them more apart than they do together.

4. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
Well, these two sum it all up. They look good. Angelina looks great on the red carpet, on a photo shoot or on the African country side. Brad is as handsome as ever. They are rich. They make great press. They love kids. They seem to be true humanitarians. Thumbs down for hurting Jennifer though. Pretty darn hot.

Last but certainly not least…
5. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz
J.T., the NSYNC boy who brought Sexy Back is all grown up with an older woman who claims she’s not the marrying kind. He’s not my cup of coffee when it comes to looks, but my daughters seem to think he’s pretty hot. (This I say as I say as I sat and screamed at all the NSYNC concerts with them…) Cameron Diaz cleans up quite well and has that charming bubbly thing going on. So it appears that they seem to cover all the bases for HOT.

celebrities, tom cruise, beyonce, justin timberlake, britney spears, angelina jolie, brad pitt